Middle Aged Meandering. :)

You are me, not literally, but I think you share some traits. We are all individuals with dreams and hopes. We live for a short time on this little ball and then we move on. I have reached that middle ground, where what I was in youth has become an older man.

I have regrets. I think most of us do. We look back at what we thought our life would be and see very little in what life has become. I look at my parents and see the same thing written on their faces, see the same smiles at accepting the inevitability of living. Life gets in the way of dreams.

I have impacted very little in my life. I have dreamed more than most. I have walked down a path and imagined more than just an asphalt trail. I dreamed of writing a novel, dreamed of  saving a life, dreamed of miracles and seen none of them arrive. I get up, I waste time, I work and then start again. There are laughs and some smiles, but always a what if…

This is what makes us who we are. The what ifs and the what could have beens. It’s a reflection of a universe that never came into being, not for me. I have so many failures and few celebrations, yet I continue with being human.

I suppose I am in a new phase, one that takes hold of us all at some age. I have three beautiful children, gifts that make up for so many failures. I have someone who cares for me, loves me and that brings me a smile. To look back is to try to put together the puzzle of ones own life. I have never been very good with puzzles, I lose pieces.

So I will say to you who read these few lines. Life is what it is…it gets in the way, but also lets us dream. In dreams we escape the doldrums and for a few the dreams do become reality. I hope, that as I travel the back-end of this journey I see some dreams come true.

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