Inner voice.

And if I told you

The truth of me

The outside voice

That never agrees

Would you listen close

To the words left said

The salty prose

From my head

Would you correct

The saddest tone

From this old man

Still not grown

A smile for you

And what you felt

Listening intently

To the hand that’s dealt.

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Faint Whisper (Flash Fiction)

It wasn’t that I needed to talk. My fingers seemed to have a mind of their own. The cell phone was staring at me as I dialled. I swear I heard it mocking me, it felt like the screen was judging my fingers for their weakness. I heard the ring, faint from the phone left at arm’s length. I didn’t need to talk, I was happy in the silence, finally had some peace and quiet…

“Dr Allan’s office, how can we assist you,”

Ah it was like a whisper, background noise that you heard but could ignore. My fingers found their courage. The screen went dark and my phone seemed to cheer in that split second. I could get the results tomorrow, my mantra these days, happiness in sweet ignorance. There can be many tomorrows.

In silence

I sit in silence

let my eyes wander in reverence

across the sky looking for guidance

blue and cloud creating its own magnificence

My eyes wander again in silence

across the meadow of grass and violets

breeze on my face and nature’s incense

the world so immense

I sit in silence

in a sweet benevolence

I show my deference

smiling more than once

In silence.

 

I am Man

I am not a wise man

though I lean to the pretend.

I am not a strong man

though my face can scare at times.

I am not a rich man

but I am loved by those that care.

I am not a thin man

and I do not obsess on self.

I am not a violent man

in fact I prefer to make you laugh.

I am just a man

That sees himself

in a reality based on fact

I am a man

Like me or not

I will remain me, without an act.

A Tiny Hand

Your tiny hand

held in mine

so small, I still remember…

Walk with me

hand in hand

as I get grey and meager…

My tiny hand

aged and frail

so small, you may remember

No matter how grey

or stooped with age

there is something always familiar…

Your hand hold true

is never grown

It’s just what I remember…

A tiny hand

held tight to mine.

A love that lives forever.

 

 

Waking.

And all I know is I must be sure,

In this life there’s the perfect cure,

The kingdom comes as I fall down,

I’m the clown.

And all I know is I’m insecure,

I see the truth as the biggest lure,

The kingdom comes as I close my eye,

It’s my disguise.

And I look for something so obscure,

I wonder if I am immature,

The kingdom comes as I lose sight,

Am I right?

And I stand so tall, self-assured,

No more travelling a dark detour,

The kingdom comes as I see,

No I in we.

and then light…

When you live as I have lived, you become a bit disillusioned with the world around you. You watch the news, listen to the radio, surf the Net for whatever is trending at that moment. What I saw was pain, hurt and anguish all around me. From the gossip, to the wars that plagued humankind.

I have lived a life. Sometimes good, mostly bad. Experience teaches that the darkness is caused by the clouds overhead, thick and grey. Looking up you would never think that there was a sun or even light. It was a cloud made by indifference and acceptance of what is.

I once stood apart from that, but slowly drowned. I have loved and lost, fought and been beaten down. I have climbed the mountain only to find it barren. I seemed to die a little inside, slowly, by endless misfortune.

And then…

There was a break in the clouds. A ray of light shining down to this cold form. I felt the heat, squinted at the light, felt the breath of change on my heavy shoulder. She was woman, hope and love. She was a smile that had no cost. She was eyes that saw me and ears that heard me. She was logic and laughter. She made my clouds part and the sky was so blue. I lost my breath, in awe of the wonder I had missed for years. The wonder of someone…who cared.

This is happy.